Give me a distraction.
Give me attention.
I'm going to be so different. I will be better, stronger, more grown up. Maybe a better friend. And a better lover. Or a better fighter. I will be brave. I will be confident. I will.
Night after night and day after day, I look to the wrong person when I loose my way.
Oh you are a little girl. Pretending to be things you see. Asking what things you can take. Well you'll scream and you'll fight with it, fake and desire for it, but you will never ever be happy.
Give me something I can feel right about.
Give me a reason to grow old.
Give me pride in myself and for the things that I have done.
But take away the shame and take away the fear. And take away the person I don't want to be anymore. And take away my hands and my eyes, so I can learn to rely on God.
Give me a reason to come back.
I'm starting to forget why.
My gosh.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably one of my favorite posts you have ever done.
"Night after night and day after day, I look to the wrong person when I loose my way." I don't necessarily relate to this but I feel like a good portion of the world needs to recognize that they're doing the exact same thing.
But my favorite line is "Oh you are a little girl. Pretending to be things you see." SO good. And so relatable for me.
You are amazing. I know you can do this. All of this. Anything, really.
"Give me a reason to grow old."
ReplyDeleteGosh I love this. It all feels so tactile.