They picked a little white girl to play Cinderella in my third grade play. And I didn't think much of it, really. But when they picked a blue eyed girl to play Rapunzel a few years after, I realized I'd never be that kind of princess.
I knew he was Indian when I turned 11. That was the year my little sister asked him what tigers looked like. That was the year I got glasses. That was the year he ripped a chunk of hair out of my doll's head. I knew it like I knew that yellow was just a color, and green was not. Yes, that was the year his own mother died, and I recalled the day I met her years before and we didn't speak at all because neither of us knew how. But I remember the tears on her face when we left. She must have loved me, I just never heard it for myself.
But he was Indian to me for the first time that year, and I can't say why. I noticed that his skin looked darker and his grammar was poor, and his head had started balding, and his arms were more hairy. I thought it was strange. I never thought about what that made me until I was 15, and someone asked me if I had a feather or a dot*.
They say that discovering yourself is like waking up. And now I know why. It took me 18 years, but I now understand the story of the lines on my hands and the curve of my nose. I understand why my fingers bend backwards, as if there is no bone. I understand the thick, dark hairs on my arms and my almond shaped eyes. I know why my irises hide my pupils. I know why my skin scars too easily and why sun screen was never necessary. I get it. I'm made for the sun and for the colors. I'm made for rain and dust and heart.
I've fallen in love with the people and the country that I come from. They are loud and nosy and stubborn, but they love with a love that matches God's. They feel with their mouths and hear with their eyes. And while many of them live with nothing, they are without a doubt the happiest people I know. And I love them and all that they stand for.
Tradition, honor, family, and love.
నేను నా కుటుంబం మరియు నా సంస్కృతి ప్రేమ. నేను భారత రక్త కలిగి గర్వపడుతున్నాను. నేను లోపాలు కలిగి, మరియు నేను విచారం కలిగి, కానీ నేను వాటిని నాకు వదిలి కలిగి అనుకుంటున్నారా ఎప్పుడూ. వారు నా పూర్వీకులు నాకు కనెక్ట్ విషయాలు ఉన్నాయి. వారు నన్ను ఇంటికి తీసుకురావడానికి.
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| My aunt Margret, me, and my father |
*The answer to that, by the way, is neither.
This was fantastic.
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