Things That Don't Matter At All (And Some Things That Do)

I still get embarrassed when people ask me out.
I think it's funny when people are rude.
I like to talk to myself.
I have a crappy job.
I hate working out.
I like soft pretzels and caramel candy.
I cry during every movie I watch.  I even cried during Sky High.
If I could, I'd watch youtube videos for the rest of my life.
I still have my baby blanket.
I like apple scented things.
I used to have a big problem with lying to take the easy way out.  (Oh, it's still a problem.  Just not a big one anymore.)
I really hate it when people talk about themselves too much.  Kind of like I'm doing right now.
I have a crazy obsessive personality, and I probably have a social disorder.
I love musical theatre.
I could live off of strawberries and flan.
I like being alone more than I like being with my friends, which really worries me.
I went through a phase where I only said things I heard on TV.  I was convinced it would make people like me more and think I was funnier.
I still like to hold my dad's hand.  Even in public.
I am really uncomfortable with sexuality.
When I moved to Colorado I spoke with what I thought was a rocking British accent for a week, and then randomly stopped.  On an unrelated note I also had no friends.
I'm obsessed with Jessie Mueller.
I have a shopping addiction.
I'm constantly trying to prove myself to everyone I meet.
On two very separate occasions, I've used my dad's heart attack as an excuse to leave work early.

I keep a lot of my emotions to myself, and am afraid of being up front about my life with people.
Everything is a metaphor.  Everything is a simplified and censored version of the truth.
Yes, I lie.
Yes, I prefer to be alone.
Yes, I want to be happy.
But no, I don't.

I have too much in me, and I'm always different.  I'm always the same.
A constant existence with nothing to show for it.


I still wait for the bus to come where the high school got torn down.